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I enjoy a woven story, which is what Rise of an Empire is. It ducks in and around the vestigial events of - adding absolutely pusssy of thematic or narrative weight to them, of course, because that would probably just give the fans a headache - but developing the larger political context behind King Leonidas' actions in the other movie. It's all historical nonsense, of course, but anyone who attends a movie expecting a halfway-accurate history lesson is going to get what they pay for, and I'd argue that the movie doesn't even attempt to disguise the fact that it's completely made up. Just look at the thing.

There isn't a single frame of or Rise of an Empire that look like they take place on anything resembling the planet Earth; if the movie was called World War Hulk and I hope, someday, it will bethe history purists wouldn't have anything to complain about. History is still back there, as debatably unreliable as it's ever been. The onscreen visuals in Rise of an Empire were just as greased up and ridiculous as Zack Snyder's CGI-hefty efforts the first time around, but there was an appreciable improvement in the overall command of craft. This is reasonable enough, given that it's seven years later, and visual effects solidity seems to adhere to a corollary of Moore's Law.

Much of the warfare is at sea this time around, and even though the action sequences are complete poppycock - at least in terms of what one could theoretically accomplish in wooden-boat warfare in open water in the pre-Common Era Mediterranean - it looks fantastic. I like arrow-related battle scenes. Early in the film, our hero - Themistocles, played by an actor who probably doesn't even know his own name, based on how completely anonymous he remains in my consciousness - takes out the king of Persia with one of those Zartan vs. Having nocked an arrow or two in my time, I don't know how credible the idea of shooting down a monarch at yards across a body of water is; but hey, it looks cool - and, nearly, balletic - to watch.

Except, he's also kind of a wimp; at least in that we never actually see him fight anyone, or do anything other than loll on his royal divan and seemingly contemplate how fabulous his giant gold cock must be, underneath his tiny gold dance belt. The fighting, instead, is left to the king's sort-of-adopted sort-of-daughter, Artemisia, who commands Persia's navy in a duel of wits against Themistocles and his boats, and is played right down into the deckboards by Eva Green.

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Artemisia, as befits a movie with a wholly male point of view, is a female Greek turncoat who watched other Greeks rape her family to death right in front of her before finding herself sold into child prostitution so that she could get raped some more, before emerging - as one would, in this kind of justification system - Need some good pussy to fuck in jeonju an adult with a deeply rooted interest in helping Persia destroy Greece; and, conveniently, a combat skill set I want a fuck in marka extends from complex battle strategy to single-blade swordfighting, all of which pusys is fundamentally outstanding at.

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